Intention, Attention and No Tension

Last week was a busy but fulfilling week. Helped to facilitate a 3-day Masterclass workshop on communication as the resource person. Participants were excellent and all of us had a great time learning together. As I reflected over the weekend on this communication masterclass, I summarised my learning into 3 key words - Intention, Attention and No Tension.

When it comes to communication, we need to be INTENTIONAL. A great communicator will always have a key message in his/her mind for delivery and he/she will always intentionally communicate that message when opportunity arise. It will never happen by chance. 

Besides having a very clear message, an excellent communicator must always pay ATTENTION to his/her goal and target audience. Besides paying attention to the external environment, a masterful communicator will always pay attention to what is happening within him/her as well - his strengths, gifts, fears or blind spot. Effective communicators always work from the inside out. 

Lastly, no one is born to be a great communicator. When you do not perform well, NO TENSION, try again. Reflect on your experiences and make effort the improve on your skills and techniques.

Life's Intention, Attention & No Tension

As I reflect on the key lessons learnt from the Masterclass I helped facilitate, it dawned upon me that these lessons are also applicable in life. 

You need to be INTENTIONAL in your life

To lead a fulfilling life, we need to be INTENTIONAL. If it's not intentional, your life experiences will be determined by the people and circumstances around you. I always try to be intentional in what I do on a daily basis. I try to complete my Daily 5 everyday and end the day by reflecting on 3 things I am grateful for before I go to bed. As I reflect deeper and asked myself what did I do to live my life intentionally, I came up with the following steps,

1. Clarify "you end in mind" first

Living with intention begins with the process of understanding your own identity, needs and desires. No one else can tell you exactly who you are or what you want, and too often the daily business of survival takes our attention elsewhere. Once you are clear with your 'end in mind', you will have a very clear idea what you need to do.

2. Start small think big

There’s no overnight trick (sorry magician's lingo) to creating the life you want, but setting achievable goals is a great starting place. Challenge yourself by setting an objective that is just beyond your comfort zone, then share it with supportive people you trust. Have 3 key goals you want to achieve in your life. This will be your 3 main purpose. Work on 5 things you can do daily that will lead you to these goals and reflect daily on your 'intentional' actions. For example, writing on this blog is one of my daily activities I do to help achieve the 3 key life goals I set for myself.

3. Reflect Consistently

Living with intention has a lot to do with how you want to spend the day today and where you want to get to tomorrow, but it’s just as important not to lose sight of where you’ve come from. Reflecting on the progress you’ve made towards your life goals is an essential part of understanding yourself – and it helps you feel great too! I reflect daily and try to pen down my thoughts in this blog as a record of my life journey. 

You need to pay ATTENTION to the right things in your life

The following story is one of my favourite when I facilitate Stephen Covey's habit 3 - Put First Things First.

A professor of philosophy stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was full.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and watched as the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The professor then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They chuckled and agreed that it was indeed full this time.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. The sand filled the remaining open areas of the jar. “Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar signifies your life. The rocks are the truly important things, such as family, health and relationships. If all else was lost and only the rocks remained, your life would still be meaningful. The pebbles are the other things that matter in your life, such as work or school. The sand signifies the remaining “small stuff” and material possessions.

If you put sand into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks or the pebbles. The same can be applied to your lives. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are truly important.

In life, we need to pay ATTENTION to the things that are critical to our key goals and roles. There will always be time to go to work or clean the house. Take care of the big rocks first – things that really matter (Relationships, Physical Heath, etc). Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.

Relax, life is a journey…NO TENSION please :)

Yes, we need to live our lives the best we can because we will only get to do this once. As such, we need to be INTENTIONAL and pay ATTENTION to our big rocks. At the same time, life is also a journey. Life will be filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our "end in mind". The road will not always be smooth, but NO TENSION. Learn from your life experiences. Reflect on these experiences deeply so that they will become meaningful lessons for you. 

It is often said that "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger'. Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that means we must face heartaches in order to experience joy. The key is NO TENSION, always follow your heart.