One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research,
Never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked,
"Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"
The youth answered "none".
The director asked,
"Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered,
"My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked,
"Where did your mother work?"
The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner.
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked,
"Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"
The youth answered,
"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.
Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said,
"I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked:
"Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered,
"I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked,
"please tell me your feelings."
The youth said,
Number 1,
I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today.
Never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked,
"Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"
The youth answered "none".
The director asked,
"Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered,
"My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked,
"Where did your mother work?"
The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner.
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked,
"Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"
The youth answered,
"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.
Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said,
"I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked:
"Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered,
"I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked,
"please tell me your feelings."
The youth said,
Number 1,
I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today.
Number 2,
By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
Number 3,
I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said,
"This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality"and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts.
When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others.
For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement.
He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, give him a Driver & Car for going around, Eat a Good Meal, learn Piano, Watch a Big Screen TV. But when you are Cutting Grass, please let them experience it. After a Meal, let them Wash their Plates and Bowls together with their Brothers and Sisters. Tell them to Travel in Public Bus, It is not because you do not have Money for Car or to Hire a Maid, but it is because you want to Love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will Grow Grey, same as the Mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done..
Jim's Reflections:
- The above story can be used as a very good guide to new leaders. Leadership is not an "entitlement", leadership is earned with hard work and respect. The best and most effective leaders should never have a sense of entitlement. Great leaders are servant leaders, not entitled leaders. Many times in leadership, entitlement is like a cancer. If untreated, it grows more and consumes more until it destroys the leader. Entitlement can lead to ethical and moral compromise and challenges. Leaders begin to rationalise that their immoral or even illegal behaviour is okay, because they are entitled. I'm sure we have seen many of such examples everywhere.
"If leadership serves only the leader, it will fail. Ego satisfaction, financial gain, and status can all be valuable tools for a leader, but if they become the only motivations, they will eventually destroy a leader. Only when service for a common good is the primary purpose are you truly leading."
--Sheila Murray Bethel
- Today, leaders everywhere are being asked to inspire others with their visions, to empower their employees, to be accessible, to generate trust, and to be more creative and flexible. In the face of these demands, more leaders are realising that they need to draw on a deeper source of guidance, strength and influence - and that to be effective leaders they truly need to serve their employees, their organisations, and their communities. As such, leaders are servants not rulers!
"Servant-leadership is all about making the goals clear and then rolling your sleeves up and doing whatever it takes to help people win. In that situation, they don't work for you, you work for them."
--Ken Blanchard
- As a leader, you have the power to influence how others feel. A leader can make other people feel important and appreciated. The leader can and should create opportunities to provide rewards, recognition and thanks to his or her staff. A leader creates a work environment in which people feel important and appreciated. I always use the platinum rule when it comes to treating my people. In the Golden Rule, you treat others as you wish to be treated. In the Platinum Rule, you treat people as they wish to be treated. These are powerful, yet simple, ways you can reward and recognise people. These are powerful, yet simple, ways to make your team feel important and appreciated. So, set aside some time to appreciate you team. Some possible platforms, during team meetings (I try to do this once a month), informal moments, coaching sessions and even during your performance reviews.
"Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I may not forget you."
--William Arthur
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