Have you ever felt stuck? Couldn't get where you want to go? Couldn't break free of the confines of your situation?

This week has been a challenging week emotionally. Struggled with staff issues, work issues and felt that I'm pretty much stuck in the day to day event level stuff. Nevertheless, I managed to set aside some time to reflect and center myself before the weekend starts.

Have you ever felt stuck? Couldn't get where you want to go? Couldn't break free of the confines of your situation? Well, I'm sure many of us were in such situations before. 

"Jimmy, how did you do it? How can you be so positive and optimistic even when you face setbacks? What's your source of strength?" 

Many of my staff and colleagues asked me these questions. In fact, one of my managers asked me a similar question this week when he was down. "Boss, how can you stay so positive after all the setbacks you have faced and continue to give you best in everything you do? If I were you, I would have left the organisation long long time ago!"

My reply to him was, "Be mindful of your self talk. If you want to get out of your situation, you need to do something about it. If you allow yourself to stay in the rut for too long, it could mean a slow death of your dreams and future. I'm sure you don't want that!"

If you are in a bad situation, down and out, demotivated and demoralised, then I encourage you to take the following 3 key lessons in life. Yes, I have been there done that.

1. You are responsible. You have a choice...Always!

I believe that it is very natural for all of us to look elsewhere for our source of difficulties. But the reality is, the older we are, the more responsible we are for our circumstances. Well, some may argue that many things are out of our control and bad things do happen to good people. True in a certain sense. But we also make choices everyday that contributes to our situation. What we do today will always have an impact on what we get tomorrow. 

Reflect on your life. Have you ever run away from responsibility or play victim? Have you ever blame others for the bad choices you have made? Are you doing things that you should not have done? So to sum it up in one sentence: You are responsible! You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. For everything you are happy with and everything you are not happy with.

For the past few years, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on how I am spending my very limited time on this planet of ours (indication that I am really growing old). I intentionally focus on what I have control and what I am responsible for and what I can change. My mental model is, even my past choices have led me to my current situation, getting out of it starts with taking responsibility and having the mindset that its up to me to make it better. So, if I want things to get better, I am responsible! So how can you move forward and take responsibility? May I suggest the following 3 simple steps.

1. Ask yourself “What things are holding you back the most in your life right now?” Ink it down on a list.

2. Say to yourself: I am responsible! And mean it.

3. Take action by starting to work on the first item of the list. Follow through.

There is this blog post "30 things that are holding you back" (which I shared on my blog last week) that I find useful when I reflect on the things that are holding me back in life. Do check out this post as you reflect on things that may be holding you back in life.

2. Always begin with the end in mind

All of us want to be successful. I'm sure all of you have dreams. But many of us don't go beyond our dreams. As the saying goes, hope is not a strategy. Always begin with the end in mind, know who you are and where you want to go in life. If you don't know where you want to go in life, you may end up somewhere else! Ha Ha.

You need to be clear and define what you want in life. Yes, it is not a guarantee that you will reach your goals and achieve your dreams, but if you don't define your goals clearly and begin with the end in mind, I'm certain you will never achieve anything.

I am very clear where I want to go in several aspects of my life. I have a clear mission statement of what I hope to achieve. I am also very clear how I am going to give back to society and help others along the way. This blog of mine is one of my small ways of giving back and sowing seeds to help others. 

Are you clear about Who you are? Where you want to go? and Why are you going there?

As you think about your goals and what you want to achieve, be reminded of this quote: "Begin with the end in mind." by Stephen Covey. Know where you want to be in your life and start working from your end goal to make the decisions now that will lead you there.

3. YOU are your asset. What you do to yourself matters!

To improve your situation and increase the options you have in life, grow yourself. You need to intentionally get better everyday. Growth always increases your capacity. Time will not make you better. Experience is not a guarantee for success. The only thing I know that will make my tomorrow better is growing and learning today. Did you know that where you are today is a result of the value you have added to yourself over time? The value you add to yourself co-measures with what you get in life. Don't remain where you are. Refuse the status quo.

I have a personal growth plan every year. Initially, I planned to take up another post-graduate programme on Organisational Development (OD) early this year. But an opportunity came when a 1 year (fully sponsored) OD Practitioner Certification Programme was offered to me by my organisation. I seized the opportunity immediately and I am now looking forward to this 1 year journey of capacity building. I am confident that by the time I complete this certification programme, my capacity and ability to make a difference will increase tremendously. I know for a fact that if I keep growing, learning and climbing higher, I will never get myself stuck. If I am stuck along the way, it will not be for long. :)

Friends, as you reflect on your situation and circumstances that you are in, ask yourself how have you contributed and what can you do about it to make it better. Know who you are and where you want to go. Grow yourself intentionally so that you will have more options in life.

As Jonatan Martensson said, "Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now." All the dreaming, planning and goal setting will not do anything for you if you don't follow through. The actions or small step you take today will help you to get out of your situation slowly but surely. It doesn't have to be a big or significant step. It just have to be a step in the right direction.

I hope my reflections for this week will offer you a different perspective of your life. This is not rocket science but a lot of common sense. But I know common sense is not common practice. So, this is just a gentle reminder from Jimmy who has been there, done that. :)

Have a great weekend ahead.

p/s: I would love to hear your comments and reactions :)

pic sources:

http://www.losethattyre.co.uk/are-you-stuck-in-a-rut-and-need-to-move-on/

http://ariseventures.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/bigstock_Responsibility_1068988.jpg

http://thearticulateceo.typepad.com/.a/6a0128763842f6970c0176153dbd12970c-800wi

http://www.matthewferrara.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/man-growing-arrow.jpg